monochrome

Drip.
Drop.
A leak in the ceiling, you pretend not to notice
Because you’re busy and it’s not really anything.
Drip. Drop.
The roof’s not caving in, so you’ve still got time
“Maybe next week I’ll do something about it.”

A week’s gone by, you look up and you notice
The leak has gotten larger, darker, and uglier than before.
Now the carpet is wet down below where it drips,
So you grab a towel to dry the carpet, and a bowl to place it beneath.
“I should get that fixed,” you think.

Drip. Drip. Drip.
A month goes by and you’ve gotten busier,
So much to do, but the leak’s getting heavier.
Your phone rings, your friends need you, your paper is due -
Your job hardly pays enough so your bills are behind too.
Walk by the leak, the bowl is full so switch it out for a bucket
“I’ll call them tomorrow,” you swear for a minute.

Tomorrow never comes, the damage is done.
What was once a few drips has now become
A rotten hole in the ceiling, the roof may come caving,
And it’s staining your clean cream carpet.
You’ve neglected the Small, now it’s become a Big
To Do: “Fix the roof, clean the carpet.” 

Moral of the story: Don’t ignore a leak
…In your roof, in your thoughts, in your heart.
Tend to the Small before they’re a Big, 
And you’ll be happier that you did it.
A hassle now but a relief later,
Don’t ignore a leak. 

Tid Bits and Updates

I’m training myself to constantly drink water throughout the day. I know some of you might be thinking that drinking water is easy, but for me because I hardly do it (I know, it’s bad), it’s a big deal for me. I bought myself a mint green water bottle that’s going to motivate me to drink my water, just because the bottle is so cute. So far, so good. I already feel like my body is quenched and working as it should.

Drinking water is also helping me control how much I eat during a meal. Because I’d been sipping on so much water before each meal, I feel fuller and not so eager to eat. It’s a win-win. Why haven’t I been doing this sooner?

Waitressing is tricky. As much as it involves people-skills, the ability to make small talk, and to smile at even the most unpleasant of customers, it also depends entirely on how busy the restaurant gets/how many tables you actually wait on. I haven’t been serving for too long, so my boss occasionally gives me advice at the end of the night. He says things like, “You’ve got to be able to read people the moment they sit down. You can’t be the same you at every table.” And when I ask how to do this he says, “That’s not something I can teach you.” Problem is I don’t know how to be anyone other than myself.

Sometimes I swear I’m too socially awkward to be a server, but ever since I started this job I’ve taught myself to suck it up and force myself to be confident. Fake it till I make it, I suppose. I’ve learned to smile, nod, swallow my pride and defense and be okay with criticism. I’ve learned to accept the fact that I will make mistakes, and to keep going despite the discouragement. And I’m still learning how to come out of my comfort zone. Overall, I’m so, so, thankful for this job. It’s teaching me more than I’d expected.

I feel that I am going through a new season with God - the solidifying of truth and identity, and therefore a season of blooming and new fruit. I’ve learned to accept that not one Christian is without sin, no matter their “status.” I can’t be upset at myself for failing, as long as God is the one that sees me as pure, as precious, as worthy. Because who am I to condemn myself? I belong to Him which means even my failures belong to Him. The cross is enough to keep me going.

Enough about me. How are you doing?

Anonymous asked: Do you sometimes think you're crazy? Why?

Aren’t we all a little crazy? And if we knew the reason why, we wouldn’t be crazy.

Anonymous asked: Ok, from the list, here are my requests: 4/15/20/22/30/31. Also, three questions, since I read your entire bear-sitting-on-a-box-eating-salmon-and-now-we-should-be-friends piece: 1) What job did you just quit and why? 2) How seriously do you pursue your music? 3) To what do you aspire? You kinda crack me up, E, and I'd like to know you better (strictly platonically. I'm married with two kids). You clearly have a fan base and yet I don't sense your online pursuits . . . (More)

I quit my job at a dry cleaners where I’ve been for the last four years. I quit because of two reasons, 1. I wanted new experiences, and 2. I felt I was being taken advantage of and unappreciated, but mostly the first reason. I didn’t think it’d benefit me to stay at a dry cleaners for years upon years with no experience elsewhere. The second reason only convinced me to finally do something about it. 

Music to me is just a hobby, and I do not plan on pursuing it (too) seriously. But I do enjoy it A LOT, and do not plan on stopping making videos on YouTube. More than music though, I love art. I aspire to be an illustrator and designer.

Thank you for the questions, Anonymous!